Sunday, September 24
Buey See Diam!I had a nightmare early this morning and woke up in fright. many dreams for the past weeks, its as if its daily programmed that i've one slot each night. but this is the worst. but this is also the waking up call. time to stop dwelling on my own problem. breakfree and look outwards. time to reach out.
comfort zone... OUT.
my days are numbered. maybe 17623 days left? or even just ? days.
i want to spend every moment well - every second, meaningfully with not just one, few.. but many people around me.
Penetrate into lives.
Stop hiding in the little shell in my house like a hermit crab.
"Be every little thing that everyone wants... ALL the time!" - lighthouse in the fog.
yeah, its time to soar like an eagle.
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:31
Heli Dont ask me why 4:22 PM
Wednesday, September 20
UnappreciatedI've always try to push aside this feeling each time it starts to grow but i think when things accumulate, somehow it's just there and you can't deny yourself further.
I don't want to say much. nothing much to say either.
just makes me feel cold, cut.. inside of me.
Heli Dont ask me why 6:23 PM
Thursday, September 14
Racing
Recently i've been feeling like a sports car, racing and racing and still is racing. I think it would really be cool if the whole stretch of road belongs to you, you could just go on with the accelerator, staring at the front horizon.
Sometimes when i'm occupied with thoughts and i couldn't get out of it, i accelerate at a even faster pace and probably to an extent i've felt a little burnt somewhere. Just the "ok nvm. let's just ZOOM ZOOM pass it" feeling i always have.
Probably life has been ermm.. twisty? last minute turns here and there, well i still escape unhurt so far. not for long ba hah.
Dreams after dreams. do they have any meaning?
why is my subconscious mind thinking of all that?
what am i affected about?
Anyone to join me at the rear seat, or beside me at the starting line?
okok i know i've no license yet. =X
Heli Dont ask me why 8:27 AM
Monday, September 4
Give me clarity of mind.get drained easily when some issues just occur to my mind. can't shake it off. can't shake it off. it just doesn't get shook off. maybe i should just throw in the white towel soon.
"how can you hide from what never goes away?" - sandie's nick.
How true.
anyway.. i bought this at the PC fair after much consideration. for my dad (the silver one) as a form of early birthday gift to him. cost me a bomb really. was quite hesitant in buying it.. ahh but doesn't matter. BUY LIAO JIU BUY LIAO. =X now i'm thinking how to give him.. wrap it up put on his table? just "nah pa for you"? or hide under his pillow? lol. ideas anyone?
lalalala.
nothing much nothing much nothing much more to say.
i can picture myself edging forward, but seems like the finishing line has shifted. maybe one day, i would just stop to see myself gets further and further away. hope that day would never come..
Heli Dont ask me why 10:17 PM
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.: Thoughts :.
I know i have to let you go..
Everyone tells me this is so...
See, my life has stopped since
You passed away
Sometimes i can't bear it
Even for one more day..
Thoughts of you consume me
Every second of everyday
I just want it back you know
The way things used to be...
In my life you held the key
And now i have just your memory
And though this is not enough for me
This is how it has to be...
I need to laugh again without feeling guilty
You aren't here...
I feel so alone & full of tear
It's so terribly hard when all that's
Left is tears...
Mum, i wish you are here
Just plainly listening to me...
I promise to keep you safe
Where you have always been of course
In my heart, that's the place...